A Mother’s Story

I had glimpses of a her life as a child.  Whenever we got the chance to talk, I often asked her to tell me what it was like to grow up in the province.  Although she left the province at an early age to find her luck in Manila, I could tell she had so many fond memories of her childhood in the province with her parents and about 10 siblings ( I can’t really recall the exact number.  Maybe I didn’t pay enough attention!).  She told me so many amusing stories:  their family’s unique observance of All Soul’s day where his parents really prepare food on the table for relatives who passed away and how her father scatters food outside of their house for disabled deceased relatives (because they will not be able to go inside the house to eat at the dinner table!);  they made noises by banging cookwares and silverwares during a lunar eclipse to drive away the monster that going to eat the sun; oh, and yes, she did have stories about the Philippine-Japanese war (she’s already alive then!).

She was in her mid-30’s when I began to really appreciate her.  She was a responsible mother and a loving wife.  Her hard-work and deep desire to give her daughter a good life became her fuel to build her own small sources of income despite her lack of education.  She was very enterprising.  She sells  everything — from ice candy,  indian mangoes, bread, candies,  cosmetics, to shoes, lingeries, etc….It was several years  later when I learned that the man she fell in love with was married to someone else. I won’t lie.  For a while there, I judged her.  She was a mistress.  She deprived her daughter of a normal life.  I began to understand why the family was not complete on special occasions, why they never attended gatherings together, why there was not even a single family picture displayed on their house.  HOwever, I also have to admit that their life was also normal in all other aspects.  The father recognized the child as his natural daughter and therefore was able to carry his surname.  He is in fact a much better father and a good family provider than others who actually abandon or abuse their legitimate children.  And so she stayed in the relationship faithfully, doing the best she can to take care of her only family.   I never heard her complain —-not once, about her situation, about being the other woman, about being the other family.  It must have been hard on many occasions.  As far as I can remember,  I have never seen nor heard her cry about her situation.  She’s a lot tougher than I thought.

Given that she didn’t have a full time partner,  I’ve seen her fulfilling the role of  a full time mom.  She was so efficient in the house.  She didn’t know the word “rest”.  She hated dust — she sweeps the floor following visitors  who bring in dirty shoes inside the house;  she refuses to take off the plastic covers of new furniture like sofa, bed and dining chairs (imagine ?);  as much as possible, she kept everything on the original box — one has to play the toys without taking  them  out from their box!  She wanted everything personalized.  You will find initials and date of purchase on plates, at the back of electric fan, refrigerator, tv and undergarments.   Her calendar didn’t  show appointments.  Instead, you’ll find notes on the date when she bought the LPG, when she bought the sack of rice, when she last replaced the light bulb…. she monitored everything!

She didn’t finish school, didn’t even went to high school.  She wanted nothing but to see her  only daughter finish school and work as a bank teller.  Yes, a bank teller.  There’s something about the bank teller’s uniform that she found very professional and distinguished.  Her daughter was an honor student.  But aside from making her proud about her scholastic achievements, I have good reasons to believe that she failed her in other aspects of her life.  First, she didn’t become a bank teller.  She became an accountant.  Unlike her mother, this daughter is ambitious.  Her intelligence made her so proud of herself, sometimes treating her mom like an inferior being.  Seeing her mom as an overly simple person, with simple dreams was sometimes just so irritating.  She secretly blamed her mother for the unhappiness she felt while growing up, for not being able to have a complete family during the most important events of her life — birthdays, christmas, new years, graduations —-, for not having a proud father to go up the stage and pin her medals or award her trophies,  for not having a convenient life because they have to content being second in priority, for making her feel not worthy of anything because she grew up believing that she only deserved to be “second best”.

I was a witness to their love and hate relationship.  She cried a river, an ocean, for her daughter.  She loved her so much but she seemed distant.  And for a mother who expected to be truly close to her only child,  there is nothing more painful than not being able to reach out to a daughter who is just armslength away.  The daughter went through a lot of painful experiences herself . Most of them were caused by her own hard-headedness, wrong judgment and decisions in life.  For every fall, every heartache, every painful moment, every disgrace, her mother never gave up on her.  She was just there all the time.  She couldn’t pretend and come up with all intellectual advices to give her daughter.  All she had were wise wisdom inherent in all mothers.  Her presence and warm embrace were the only constant things she could offer.  She always made sure there’s a warm place for her daughter to come home to.

I noticed that their relationship got a little better in the latter years.  Her daughter used to think that her obligation to her mother is best addressed every time she sent money or groceries or  flowers.  She had no idea that her mother cherished the calls and visits much more than any material gifts. When the daughter met her husband-to be, visits to her mother became more frequent.  The personal talks that’s been long overdue started to happen.  Within a year, when the daughter decided to get married, she asked her mother to live with them.  She suddenly realized that as she was about to start a family of her own,  everything will be more complete if her mother was around.  There’s no better and perfect time to really start anew than that moment.  And it was really a good start.  The mother loved her son-in-law just as she loved her daughter.  Nothing prepared them for the mother’s heart attack  that happened 5 months after the wedding.  Half of her body became numb and had to be rehabilitated.  She was bedridden for months.  The newlyweds took turns in taking care of their mother.  It was an early test of commitment for it was not easy to care for a person who suffered a heart attack.  It was physically and emotionally draining.  The desire to revive a precious mother prevailed.  It was heart-wrenching.  Oftentimes, the mother would cry everytime she’s being fed.  Maybe she felt sorry for herself.  All her life she used to work on her own, to take care of herself, to take care of her daughter.  That time she couldn’t do anything else.  Maybe she felt sorry for her daughter.  She shouldn’t be suffering because of her.  But during her physical therapy sessions, she  also kept showing a lot of progress.  She lost her ability to talk but she smiled a lot whenever her therapist arrived.  She was a mother all the time.  Consistently.  Soft and Strong.  Part of her didn’t want to be a burden to the people she loves  but part of her wanted to survive so she can continue doing what she’s best at —-loving.  And I’m sure God loves her for that.  So He gave her the rest she deserved.  A few days before her daughter’s first wedding anniversary, she didn’t survive the third heart attack.

IT’s been almost 10 years since she died.  But I remember her like it’s just yesterday.  I learned a lot from her.  She influenced me more than I would ever care to admit.  Having my own daughter now, I get firsthand experience what makes a mother cry and what makes her laugh;  what would make her beam with pride and what would make her feel distressed.  I wish this is the kind of daughter my mommy had ten or twenty years ago. Maybe then I would be able to tell her story differently.  Maybe I would not narrate it like I was a third person seeing her from a distance.  Maybe I would be proud to be part of her story, to be as that child who brought her pride and joy. Maybe I would have no regrets that I wasn’t able to spend as much time with her, that I wasn’t able to tell her how much I love her and that I am very thankful for her love, patience and understanding over the years.  But then again, being a mother now, I also realize that a mother’s true joy comes not from seeing that her love is reciprocated — but in being able to love freely and unconditionally.  They say “mothers know best”.  That’s true.  Not because they know everything and that they’re always right.  They KNOW BEST because they see things with their heart.  I can never be proud that I was not the best daughter to my mom.  But in my heart, if i can just learn to let go of the feelings of guilt and regret, I know that my mom truly loved me in spite of everything.  And so on this very special day for mothers, I would like to pay tribute to my Mom:

THANK YOU MOMMY for raising me up the way you did.  Thanks for the sleepless nights that you spent taking care of me whenever I got sick.  Thank you for constantly cleaning up my mess,  cooking my favorite foods,  waiting for me when I came home late. You are the most patient, understanding and forgiving person that I know.  Thank you for teaching me generosity and kindness.  It must have been hard to be your daughter, but you never complained.   The last moments I had with you, though the most difficult and painful, were also the most memorable because up to the last minute I felt that you ARE a mother to me.  You never did leave until you saw that I was in good hands.  I love you.  I may never have said it often enough in your lifetime, but I really do love you and I am proud of you.  There’s no Manual on how to raise children nor how to become a good mother.  There is no college degree about motherhood.  But you passed everything with flying colors.  For all the tears that you shed for me, for each hurtful words that you took, for  all the times that you felt ignored and unappreciated —- please forgive me.  I thank God for giving me the privilege of knowing you, of being hugged and loved by someone like You.  I love you and I miss you very much.

This song is for you Mommy……

Happy Mothers’ Day to all the mothers out there.  Thank you for continuing to mold our future adults.  For all the sons and daughters, take the time to greet that special person in your life who is almost always under-rated and unappreciated.  They deserve all the love they can get.  Never wait until it’s too late……

We Fall Down, But We Get Up

It’s the first time that I heard of Donnie McClurkin’s song entitled “We Fall Down (But We Get Up).   It’s a powerful song and because the lyrics are so right on time,  it’s almost ridiculous.

We all fall down once in a while.

There are so many things in my past that I was not so happy about.  I once (or was that twice?) fell in love with the wrong man,  I started several businesses that failed so I gave up,  I made wrong choices,  I made bad decisions,   I hurt some people and i disappointed some friends and loved ones.   Should I be harsh on myself?

It happens — we all fall down.

Just because we fell down doesn’t mean we have to STAY down.

We should get up!

Have you ever experienced tripping on your foot or slipping out in public and actually fell down?  You did jump up real quick, didn’t you?  I bet the next thing you did was looked around and silently prayed that nobody saw you.

Just as quickly as you bounced up from a “real”  fall, you can actually bounce back from a figurative fall.

Sadly, most people take a long stop after a fall.  They simply stay there and refuse to move forward.  They never really learned the “But We Get Up” part.

No matter what the circumstances are in your life that might have tripped you up, no matter what you have been through, no matter what happened in your past, you can always GET UP and make changes, right now, that will forever banish or make obsolete, the “bad” things that caused you to fall in the past.

STOP Living In the Past! We all fall down. But remember, “A Saint is just a sinner who fell down AND got up.”

GET UP! Stop living in the past! Your past should be a reference point, NOT a residence.

But so many of us continuously LIVE in the past. We went out and bought a “WELCOME” mat and promptly placed it at the door of our past. We can’t break away from it. We wear it as some sort of badge of honor because we simply won’t let it go.

Just because you made a mistake or circumstances led you to do something that you now regret, doesn’t mean that for the rest of your life you will have to beat yourself up because of it.

Doesn’t matter if you made two mistakes or three. Hey, it doesn’t even matter if you made over a million mistakes in your life. What matters is today, right now.

You know the mistakes that you’ve made because you have that mistake as a reference point now and for the rest of your life. But you CAN change your residence. Move out. Pack your bags and throw away that “Welcome” mat– because, right now, you make the decision to change. You have decided that your life is worth fighting for. You realize that you are a child of God and, therefore, worthy of all that is already yours by
divine right.

You weren’t born for sorrow. You weren’t born to be a doormat for others to wipe their feet on. You weren’t born to infect your body with chemicals that take you outside of yourself. You weren’t born to be used up and then disregarded. You weren’t born for any of that.

You were born to glorify God and live a happy and abundant life. And if you aren’t living that way, it’s simply because at some point, you fell down. But now is the time to get up and start living the life that you were born to live. And that is a life of purpose. That’s a life of happiness and abundance.

Now, you ask, How do I get out of the past and Get Up? Well, I wish I could say, “it’s simple.” But that wouldn’t be the truth. There’s nothing “simple” about it. It’s a daily process that you must work on. You have to be committed to making changes in your life. You have to believe that God has a purpose for you. You MUST have faith. You have to change your mindset   In other words, you will have to work on YOU.

You will have to realize that what happened yesterday, is gone. You can never get that time back and, therefore, there is nothing you can do about it. But right in front of you is another minute or another hour or another day, week, month, year. Those things haven’t happened yet, so you can start to orchestrate your present so that your future will be more to your liking.

Start by telling yourself, over and over and over and over again, “My past has no bearing on who I am right this second. And, therefore, is NOT important. I am here to glorify God. I am God’s child and, therefore, worthy of greatness.”

If you take this simple phrase and say it to yourself all day long, over and over again, you will soon start to notice changes in your life. All of a sudden, without even thinking about it, you will start to pack your old baggage from the past and move them to a closet that you will lock and throw away the key. And when you get stronger in your faith, you will find yourself selling the whole house and moving into a completely
different neighborhood–one that is completely different from the hood you used to live in.

I like Donnie McClurkin’s song  because his song leaves you with a feeling of hope — “For a Saint is just a sinner who fell down… and got up!”.

My name is HOPE

I am writing my first article for my website.  I’m thinking it should be special — something that the readers would love to read,  enjoy reading it enough to keep them coming back to visit again.  While searching for an “inspiring” topic to write about,  I found this email on my inbox, it’s  from one of my favorite authors — Bo Sanchez.  ( Of course he didn’t send  it TO ME because I’m one of his close friends, though I’d like to be one!  I’m one of his avid followers and as a member of his  Truly Rich Club,  I am blessed to receive inspirational articles  from my  “virtual ” mentor  on  a regular basis.)  What  better day to receive a topic about “Hope” than today?  My name is Hope, I want to give Hope to all my readers, and I want to talk about Hope today!

Pardon me for not choosing to be “original” on my first post.  But after reading this article, I just felt that this is exactly the message that I want to come across all my readers.  This site is about encouraging people to rise above whatever circumstances they are in right now.  To stop being content playing small roles.  We are all BIG in God’s eyes and it’s time we start claiming our rightful place under the sun.  But I know it’s not easy to take even  one baby step unless we have a slightest glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel.  That’s HOPE.   And this is where I would turn you over to this wonderful and inspiring article written by Bo Sanchez entitled “God Says Your Future is Beautiful.”

Read on……

One day, Josh graduated from the Ateneo. He had many dreams and was excited about his future.

After the graduation ceremonies, he rode a cab.

The taxi driver greeted the young man, “How are you today?”

“I feel wonderful,” the new graduate said, extending his hand, “I’m Josh, Ateneo, batch 2010.”

“Congratulations!” the cab driver said, “I’m Carlos, Ateneo, batch 1976.”

(Note: This is a joke. I graduated from the Ateneo!)

Today, God Wants To Give You Hope

God wants to give you hope.

How? He’ll do it by giving you a peek into your future.

He’ll give you a glimpse of what’s coming next.

My message for you today is very simple: The last chapter of your life has been written, and it has a happy ending.

Obviously, you have to choose this happy ending.

It won’t happen if you don’t choose it.

But my point is that it’s available.

You can have a happy future.

Yes, you may be going through rough times now. Perhaps there’s a mountain of bills that you have to pay. Or the doctor’s report may not be good. Or there’s a conflict in your family. Or you may not be happy with your job.

Whatever it is, believe that you can have that happy future.

The Last Chapter Of Your Life Has Been Written,

And It Has A Happy Ending

Take the case of my friend Pablo.

Pablo has a problem: His girlfriend dumped him.

His friends told him, “Pablo, that’s just a small problem.”

But Pablo is collapsing under its crushing weight.

He feels that life is hopeless and wants to die.

To hide his identity, I won’t show you his photo.

Instead, I’ll just draw a caricature of Pablo…

As a kid, I used to draw a lot. 10% of my notebooks were class notes, and 90% were drawings.  (To mothers: When your little boys fill their notebooks with drawings, don’t stop them. They may become preachers one day!)

But one day, someone invited Pablo to the Feast. (That’s what we call our weekly prayer gathering because it’s feels like a party. If you want to join us, click here or email feastsecretariat@yahoo.com.) And he was hooked. He never left.

Each week, he heard God’s Word.

After 6 months, Pablo’s life has totally changed.

But ironically, he now has more problems!

First, he still doesn’t have a girlfriend.

Second, the company he’s working for is in bad shape and may close down soon.

Third, his parents are fighting over money again.

Fourth, his pimples are acting up.

But here’s a caricature of Pablo after 6 months…

Pablo has more problems today.

Yet he’s smiling!

How come?

He’s got more problems now.

He should be crying more.

But he’s not.

Here’s the reason…

There’s only one difference between the two drawings: In the past months, Pablo has grown in Hope.

He knows that his problems are temporary. He knows that his future is brighter than his past. He knows that in the end, he will win the victory.

Happiness Has Nothing To Do

With The Absence Of Problems

Do you want to be happy?

Being happy doesn’t have anything to do with the size of your problems. Being happy has everything to do with the size of your hope. And that’s what you receive from God.

Friend, are you like Pablo?

Are you burdened with a long list of problems?

Having many problems isn’t the problem.

Losing your hope is the problem.

Don’t give up.

Don’t lose hope.

Because when you lose hope, you lose life.

Pablo is smiling because he has hope.

He knows something He didn’t know before: That God finishes what he starts.

Listen to God in your heart. He is speaking to your heart and saying, “The last chapter of your life has been written, it has a happy ending.”

The Power Of Hope To Bless Your Life

Hope is underrated.

The Bible says that between faith, hope, and love, love is the most important thing in the world. And I agree.

And faith? It’s essential to salvation.

So where does hope come in? A nice third class bonus.

They also say that in Heaven, you don’t need hope anymore.

But that’s precisely the point: We’re not yet in Heaven. (Just to check, pinch yourself. If you experience pain, you’re not yet there.)

On planet earth, hope is crucial for survival.

In fact, it’s crucial for any kind of success.

Do You Have More Problems

When You Grow Closer To God?

One day, Pablo asked me, “Bo, why is it that when I grew closer to God, I now have more problems. Is this a test from God? Or is this harassment from the devil?”

I told him, “Neither. I believe you’re experiencing a normal life. Because problems are a part of life. I believe you’ll have problems whether you’re near to God or far from God. Your choice is this: Will you go carry your problems with hope or will you carry your problems without hope?”

Pablo almost shouted, “With hope!”

And that’s what happens when people join the Feast every week. They go home from the Feast with overflowing hope in their hearts. In other words, they receive a “Taboric” experience…

Jesus Lifted The Curtain

Between Heaven And Earth

One day, Jesus brought Peter, James, and John to Mount Tabor. When they reached the top, a powerful transfiguration happened.

They saw Jesus shining with brilliant light.

And beside him were Moses and Elijah, also glowing.

It was so powerful, Peter said, “Jesus! Let’s build 3 tents. One for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”

He didn’t know what he was saying.

The vision was so mind-boggling, he was speaking gibberish.

Because on Mt. Tabor, Jesus lifted up the curtain that divided heaven and earth.

Here’s my question: Why did Jesus do that?

To show off? Not likely.

He did this to give them hope.

Jesus knew that after they go down from Mount Tabor, life would be tough. His disciples will see Jesus bloodied up. Beaten with whips. Slaughtered as a criminal. They’ll see him die on the cross.

So in Mount Tabor, Jesus gave them a peek of the future.

He gave them a glimpse of the last chapter.

He was telling them, “The last chapter of your life is written, and it has a happy ending.”

You Need Taboric Experiences In Your Life

I feel each Feast is a Taboric experience.

In our weekly Feast, people meet God. They hear God’s Word. They go home with great hope in their hearts.

Because in the Feast, people get a taste of their future.

Below is a photo of a regular telescope.

Do you know that Hope is also a telescope?

It is. But it’s a very special one.

Instead of looking through space, it looks through time.

Hope is a “time” telescope.

It sees the future.

Hope whispers to your heart, “Your future is beautiful. You will win. You will overcome.”

“You’ll Never Be A Speaker”

I will never forget this one difficult moment in my life.

I was fourteen years old, already giving talks here and there in different prayer groups.

One day, I was invited to speak in a seminar.

There were less than 20 people in the audience.

But when I stood in front of them, I didn’t know why, but I felt so self-conscious. I felt nervous and began to sweat. And my talk bombed.

After I spoke for less than 20 minutes, I sat down. I felt so ashamed at what I did.

It didn’t help when the organizer stood up and said, “What Bo was trying to say was this…”  He then proceeded to give my talk all over again.

After the seminar, he came up to me and said, “Bo, I think you shouldn’t be speaking in seminars like these.”

Ouch.

In my mind, I heard a voice say, “I knew it. Who am I fooling? I’ll never be a speaker.”

That day, I basically gave up on myself. I was thinking of just refusing the invitations I was receiving.

But when I went back to my little prayer group, my prayer group leader, Aida Manongdo, never gave up on me.   Perhaps she sensed I was feeling down. She called me aside and said, “Bo, I have something to tell you.”

She said, “Bo, God spoke to me again. He said you really have an anointing. One day, you’ll be preaching in many countries all over the world.”

What was she doing? She was giving me hope.

She was saying, “God will finish what He has started. The last chapter of your life has been written, and it has a happy ending.”

Today, those words have come true.

For 31 years now, I’ve been preaching in over 20 countries.

When you’re feeling down and about to give up, I now realize that God will send an Aida to you who will give you hope.

I’m that Aida to you now.

God has sent me to tell you that your future is brighter than your past. You may be in a Good Friday right now but I’m telling you that your Easter Sunday is coming. You will have a happy ending. You will have a glorious future.

What Kind Of Person Are You?

Let me end with one last word.

There are two kinds of people in the world: People who give hope and people who take away hope.

What kind of person are you?

When you relate with your kids, do you give hope? Are you like Jesus who lifts the “curtain” between his present and bright future? Do you tell your child, “The last chapter of your life has been written, and has a happy ending.”

Today, I want you to receive hope.

And be like Jesus.

Give hope.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez